Lyudmyla Taran,
a poetess, literary critic, journalist;
author of Zhinka yak tekst (Woman as a Text, 2002)
and Zhinka and Cholovik (Man and Woman, 2002)
When I am asked, Are you a feminist, I am always at a loss what to say. I ask in return, Which meaning do you put into being a feminist?
So, am I a feminist? I am a person who wants to respect herself. At the age when I became conscious of myself as a person — some time when I was between seven and ten — I began to feel a great desire to control my own destiny. I wanted to solve my own problems all by myself. I wanted to earn money to support myself, I wanted to be as little dependent on anybody as possible. I have always wanted to make my own decisions, to make my own choices — and be responsible for the consequences. This longing for independence is nothing less than a desire to live my own life.
One of the stereotypes about women has it that only women can do monotonous, precise, painstaking work. Maybe there are women who like that kind of work, but I, in spite of being a female, cannot stand any monotonous work, I hate what they call “women’s chores” — tidying, cooking, weaving or needlework. I did do some embroidery in my younger years but did not derive any pleasure out of it — it just annoyed me. I like creative work — anything else for me is just “filling the bottomless hole.”
I was brought up in a family of patriarchal traditions, where women were allotted their traditional roles. My husband comes from a family with similar traditions, and it took me quite some time and a lot of effort to change his opinions — to understand my position and act accordingly. If a woman feels happy cooking, if it gives her satisfaction, if she thinks that’s her calling is to be a housewife, a homemaker, there’s nothing wrong in it either. If such is her free choice, she is absolutely welcome to it.
Are Ukrainian women special or different from women of other nations? I don’t know, but I do think that Ukrainian women have what may be described as “hypertrophied sense of duty” which men use to their advantage. Ukrainian women take too much on themselves, and do too much, and in this way they spoil men. Ukrainian women have adapted to the new economic situation and they have learnt new trades, they earn money doing so many things, and men are just sitting on their hands. Many women think they are so heroic, so powerful, they can do anything — but subconsciously they want their men to try as hard.
